paris paris paris

How I wish I'm still there.... city of lights, shopping and the culture is mesmerising. 16 degrees walking in the cold crisp air fingers tingling but everything is so alive! life should be thus. Tis is the place I'll return again. 5 days is way too short we have only jus begun our mutual understanding to interact, explore & experience this connection.

i'll be back - nothing can keep me away from this vibrant place. reliving the memories just wont cut it - merci.

day 2

second day at my work place.
some old familiar faces around - the rest of mostly new.
funny how it seemed that it would be conceivably easier to fit-in, me being there before.

in a way, yes - that's true but i would be lying to say the usual, it take some getting used to period is neccessary before everything is at a acceptable comfort level.
by then, the mind will be playing devil's advocate, saying 'its time to move'.
simple routine processes like using the photocopier, the in-out trays, IT interface etc.
and there's the not-critical but yet big 'fit-in' factor like: lunch buddies, tea-break buddies, hey even 'toilet buddies' to contend with.

nonetheless, all these will pass; i have a strong hunch that before long, all will be fine.

more so, i've made myself a strong intention - to be totally committed and to set certain 'milestones' to gauge how i would perform, my interactions with others.
these weren't edged out yet - but i trust instinctively, the guidelines are though unwritten, understood.

a new day again

tomorrow, i'll be starting something new... again.

this should be easy, considering that i am quite the veteran in this field of changing occupations.
life is thus, as a particle in a stream, i can choose the path, by meandering this way or that.
chosing this path brings me further away from the other - i can not turn back and will never know, what it is like to be There.
but, this path, with its obstacles, twigs, rocks, pebbles are unique, by the paths' end, into the ocean, i know i'll never be the same again.
it's a fun and exciting ride - one , i wouldnt want to miss for the world.

whoossh!

reflections part 1

came across a page in an old diary:-

6 Sep 1998
i am happy & contented.
my family & friends love me.
i love them
nothing else truly matters.

you can't hurt me; not through work
i know cos there's a time when I
have nothing; nothing at all.
but i am not afraid; nor alone.
i have what matters most.
love & support from people who
matters most.

i am learning. All that i can.
am practising. As much as i can.
experience. you can't take that away from me.
inside i am nice. take away my shell
and you still can't hurt me.
cos you dun have the ability to.
not physically anyway.
you are not family nor friend.
you are an acquaintance; at best colleague

i feel good abt myself.
i am loved and am with loved ones.
my confidence stems from within.
i have the ability to do well; and I do.

best of all these;
i am attractive and i attract positive vibes;
positive energy flows to me.
i am alive and i am glad.
i give my thanks. (to all and to me)

... and acknowledgements

I wish to take this opportunity to thank you.
for the discipline and commitment in taking it thus far -
let this form another strong memory and anchor for you;
on days when doubts set in/ occasions when you need 'reinforcements'.

thank you dear,
I wouldn't be me without you being true to yourself.
with a little more Compassion, Acceptance and Forgiveness -
I can see now why I made those choices that I did;
my destiny has clarity and light.

I know the seed will one day take root and grow.
it won't be long now.

achievements ...

woohoo! I did it!
am now a certified Master Practitioner.
Have gotten great feedback too -

"she shows firmness and confidence throughout the process; able to hold herself together and pull the coachee out of his state"

am unbelievable*
thank you!

break through

just recalled the day when i am a certified NLP practitioner.

my wonderful trainer, Barney, once said, " with great power comes great responsibility" (sounds familiar? its from the spidey movie)

i sure do not feel very powerful then, but strangely more at peace and calm with steadfastness.
nope, not the Zen-i-am-enlightened sort, just - harmony sitting well in the gut.

more importantly, i managed to break up a 4 inch wooden block.
it means so much more than just the act, (i am soo strong).
nay.
its the symbolism. the mind is ready to let go of those voices " you are not good enough " or " what if it wouldnt break, how will the rest look at me?" or " I don't deserve to do well ".
i now accept the fact that like nature, the mountains, the trees, the river and the lakes, i am a child of the Universe; I deserve to Live, just as they do.

seeing double?